How I Wish.....
Hey guys...Been a really long time since I last updated....
So........It's time I give my blog a lil' attention and lovin'..haha...
Oh...I forgot..Merry Christmas ppl and Happy Holidays...
And talking bout hols...I'm like counting down the days to school reopen day...It sucks big time..
Christmas is a time for wishing..heh...So do bare with my long list of wishes...
How I wish....
My grandmother is still alive...
My dad ain't so bias...
My brother would be more mature...
My mum be more understanding...
My sister more sensible...
My dogs have long lives...
I hadn't met Michael...
Kyle be more independent...
I can lose weight faster...haha..
Holidays are longer...
My friends always happy...
More outings for W15f...
For World Peace...
I'd be richer...lol..
I don't dislike my dad so much....
I don't fight with my sister so often...
There are so many I wish...But some things are unavoidable..
I just had a major disagreement with my dad and i'm really really mad at him now...
Like totally mad...
Like I feel like slapping him in the face and tellin' him he's being fcukin' bias...
But I can't...
Simply cause he's my dad...
I hate the way my dad talks to me...
I hate the way he shouts at me when he's mad..
I hate the way he's so friggin' Bias...
I hate the way he thinks he's always right...
I hate the way he ask me to do stuff for him and not be appreciated..
I hate the way he treats my sister and brother better...
I just feel that I'm never appreciated...
Even when I do stuff for the family and does everything he wants me to do...
All I get is scolding and shouting from him...
What the Fcuk...
Why????
This is so bloody unfair...
Can't he treat me better?..
In his eyes..
I'm prolly just rubbish...
If so...why bring me into this friggin' world dude..
If I had a choice...
I'd rather not be in this world...
I'd rather move out..
If I could....
Family????
What the hell....
Someone Will Find You...
"My name is Ashlee Tan. I've spent more than 18 years in this world. Where I live is just a place somewhere in the world. Maybe it's a lot like your world, maybe it's nothing like it. But if you look closer, you might see someone like you, or someone close to being like you. Someone trying to find their way. Someone trying to find their place. Someone trying to find their self. Sometimes it seems like you are the only one in the world who's struggling, who's frustrated, unsatisfied, barely getting by. But that feeling's a lie. And if you just hold on, just find the courage to face it all for another day, someone or something will find you and make it all okay. Because we all need a little help sometimes - someone to helps us hear the music in their world, to remind us that it won't always be this way. That someone is out there. And that someone will find you."
Michael
Hey guys...
I'm just feeling really pissed now so I'm gonna try and take it out on this space I've got...
What the hell is wrong with him...
Everytime..and I mean Everytime..when I finally seem to get him outta my head, he comes back with some new tricks up his sleeves and gets me back to where we started off at...
It's always like that...and it really makes me wonder when will all his S**T stop...
I mean...Michael...I really really still have feelings for you..You know that and I know that...
And you keep telling me you have feelings for me and I keep falling for that...
Pls don't say you love me when you don't know for sure...and pls don't make promises you can't keep...
I just wanna live my life...even if it's gonna be without you...
“I forgot you're the guy who loves to rip the rug out from under me just when I feel like we've given some sort of stable ground.”
Whatever...
Ashlee...
We'll Stay The Same..
Hey guys...I'm Back!!!...lol..For another update...
The main purpose of this blog is to thank every single person who was involved in making yesterday happen...Everything turned out GREAT!!! I mean it...We went, We Rocked and We really enjoyed "The Soundtrack Of Our Lives"...But of course, there are some ppl who I really really wanna thank personally...
Dinee: Thanks for the banner...It was a great job done in such a short time...
Sabitah: Thanks for taking time to design and make the black book and carrying them to school and back home almost everyday...
Shu Hui: Thanks for the test tubes....really...Without you, I guess the door gifts wouldnt have happened...And also, thanks to u and Fei Fei for staying over at my place a night b4 to help with the preparation..
Cindy: Thanks for designing the Guest Book..It was brilliant...
Chu Yun and Diana: Awesome job done as the "Finance Ministers"...heh..Thanks...
Jenny: Thanks for wrapping the prizes for the games..heh..and the truths and dares you came out with..
Clara: The class move was really sweet...
Wandi: Thanks for the tickets and for being really really a great help throughout the whole event yesterday....
Shawn: Thanks for everything....Seriously...I really appreciated everything you've done...from booking the chalet to bringing all the food u've brought...Help me thank ur parents too...
Ms Loh Siew Heng and Ms Grace Leong: Thanks for being a part of our wonderful evening... I'll never forget you guys for sure...
Last but not least...To everyone who was present...Thanks...thanks and thanks...I really hope that the bonds we've built as a class will stay the same for always and forever...
I'll definitely be looking forward to our next chalet/gathering and the next and the next....heh...
Take care everyone...and we'll definitely meet again...soon:)
"Sometimes people disappoint you...Sometimes they surprise you...But you won't really get to know them...Until you listen for what's in their Heart..."
Cheers,
Ashlee...
Soundtrack Of Our Lives...
Hey guys..Yea..I know..U guys have prolly stopped checking in on my blog already since I don't seem to update alot..heh..well..just hope u guys'll see this post...
School: Let's see..Semester one's ending in like 6 days time, which is 144 hours or 8640 minutes ...Can't really believe it..I mean..it seems like it was a week ago when I first walked into W15F with the sentance "Hey guys...I'm Ashlee..You guys can call me Ash..."..lol...Well..Time really flies I guess..There's no such word as "wait" in Time's dictionary...I really really don't want this semester...What can I say..I love my class..everyone in it....every facilitator we have..well..maybe not all..but most..I just have one line for every single one of them.....
"As we go on..we'll remember...all the times we...had together...And as our classes change..come whatever...we will still be...Friends Forever...":)
Sometimes, the words in an overated song can really be meaningful...
Class Chalet: Can't wait for the 24th...Class chalet...It should really be happeneing..heh..With most of the class turning up..and all of our facilitators..It'll definitely be the party of the year..heh..I guess...The theme for the chalet..."Soundtrack Of Our Lives"...To me, W15F has already become a soundtrack of my life..seriously...I hope it's the same for everyone else..
Michael: Feelings for him...still strong...Feelings for us.....very extremely uncertain...I mean..what can I say..I'm just not too sure if we'll have a future together...
Holidays: Hopefully I'll get to work alot...then I won't be bored and I'll be "rich"....hahahahahahahahahahahahahahah....jking...
working part-time = earning enough cash for survival..:p
Alright...guess I should end here..It's almost 2a.m. and I'm pretty tired now...Still thinking if I should be present at school tomorrow or not..you'll find out in a few hours eh..heh..
Well, as usual....
“So don't be afraid to make mistakes, to stumble and fall, because most of the time the greatest rewards come from doing the things that scare you the most. Maybe you'll get everything you wish for. Maybe you'll get more than you ever could have imagined. Who knows where life will take you. The road is long and in the end, the journey is the destination."
Take Care..
Love,
Ashlee...
Finally!!!!!
Hey guys..It's me..I know it's been quite some time since I've last updated..But all that matters is that I'm updating now right?..haha..Anyway..been a really busy last few weeks with school written all over my head..lol..The only thing that was fun last week was prolly the movie thing with some of my classmates and one of our facilitators who is really cool and nice:) The movie itself tho was pretty boring until the climax which was at the end of it..heh..Anyway, to Jenny, Get Well Soon!...To the rest of the ppl in W15F, Enjoy the rest of the semester alright...And to all of our facilitators, We love you!!!!....haha...Well, I'm just gonna end here for now..But i'll prolly touch up on this post when I get the chance...
"Every moment spent in a certain place, with a certain someone, at a certain time is definitely worth remembering...Because at the end of the day, it's all these memories that makes who we are..."
Cheers
Ashlee:)
Moments...
Heya...
I'm updating now aren't I...lol..Just have a lil' patience guys......................................
Alright alright...I'm slow in updating..I'll just admit that..haha...Anyway...I'm prolly just gonna be bloggin about some stuffs at hand...like school and so on...read on to find out...heh..
"You cannot run away from weakness; you must fight it out or perish.... And if that be so, why not now, and where you stand?"
What a phrase...At the moment...my weakness'd prolly be Michael...So...I should fight him or I'd die?...lol..I'm guessing that's what the phrase means?...I don't know..Maybe it means to fight the feelings I have for him?....I'm certain tho..that I can't run away from the feelings I have for him..Even if I try, he'll find me somehow...He must be with the C.I.A or somefin'....Oh well, there're like 2 roads in front of me..one's to forget, fight off the feelings I have for him and move on..and the other's to hang on and see where it takes me...And I'm clueless on which road to take...I just want to live my life...
School...What can I say...I'm practically slacking off with school..My grades are moving down..I'm tired...I need a break...
My band...We'll be playing at Vintage Rock Bar in Sept...16's the age limit..so let me know if u need tickets...
TV....Been watching Prison Break...Brilliant Show...Wicked Casts...Amazing story line...seriously..Watch It!!!!....It's GREAT...
Oh yea..Just to back track abit..Thanks to Jenny, Shu Hui, Diana, and of course my darling brother for that really memorable NDP preview..heh..Next year, Chu Yun and Cindy...U guys better be there too...lol..
Movies....We should all start some" a movie every week thing"....lol..Watching 'Pirates of the Caribbean-Dead man's chest' with some of my classmates was definitely a great experience..hahaha...
Alright...I think I'm gonna end off here..it's getting a lil' long..and naggy..haha..
"Sometimes a moment settles and hovers and remains for much more than a moment.... And sound stops and movement stops for much, much more than a moment.... And then the moment was gone...."
Signing off...Take care everyone..
Cheers,
Ashlee...
